


Recovery

by Erimenthetic



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 04:11:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1968537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erimenthetic/pseuds/Erimenthetic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of ME3, Shepard struggles with recovery. Joker is there to help. Cross-posted from FFN.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recovery

Joker's hair is still wet from his shower when he passes through security at the hospital. Shepard should be just about done with her therapy for the day, and he's brought cheesy holovids and an old chess set to distract her. Week four of her (conscious) hospital confinement isn't going well-for anyone- and Joker's started to feel bad for the nurses.

He juggles four cups of coffee in one hand, two more and his crutch in the other. He drops most of them at the nurses' station (because nurses are angels sent from heaven, and keeping them happy is just plain good sense). 

In his hurry, Joker misses the look of exasperation on the face of the orderly just leaving Shepard's room.

The moment he crosses the threshold, though, Joker can tell that things have gone to hell in his absence. Shepard's curled up in her wheel chair, eyes clenched shut, head turned to the side so she doesn't have to face the prosthesis. Fuck, they weren't supposed to fit the thing until tomorrow. He wouldn't have left if he'd known.

Her PT looks ten steps past screaming, and Joker wonders if Shepard's threatened the good doctor with a court-marshal or dishonorable discharge this time. It'd be funny, except Hackett's been a little too keen on giving the savior of the galaxy whatever she wants.

Not quite keen enough on visiting his soldier while she convalesces. (If you're going to get all better, everyone's there to cheer you on, but when the body breaks for good, when the illness becomes terminal, when where you are is as good as it's going to get? That's when the vid calls become cards and flowers, when the visits become I'm just not good with hospitals.)

"Feeling sorry for yourself, Shepard?" Alliance triage procedure dictates Joker hand the PT the coffee originally meant for Shepard. 

Joker drops the datapad on the bed and glances discreetly at Shepard's neck to make sure she doesn't have her biotic amp plugged in. There's a mistake no one should make twice.

"Shut up, Moreau," she says, but there's no venom in it. She doesn't open her eyes to greet him.

"So where are we in the process, doc?"

The PT pinches the bridge of her nose. "Standing."

Joker nods. "Alright, Shepard, up and at 'em."

"Go away." Her voice is wet with the sound of unshed tears. "I'm too tired for this."

"Well why didn't you so, Shepard? If we'd known you were tired..."

She doesn't even glare, so Joker nudges the doctor's stool towards her chair, and maneuvers himself to sit beside her. The fracture in his tibia is healed enough to be weight bearing, but not enough to move quickly. Not bad for a crash landing, really. Nothing, of course, compared to what Shepard's recovering from.

"You cannot sit here and waste away." Joker lays a hand on her thigh, letting his fingers just brush the edge of the prosthetic cuff. It's always meant something to him when people aren't afraid to touch him, and he can only hope Shepard's the same. He squeezes hard, because he knows she's stronger than this.

Her eyes open at that, and the hatred in her gaze is scalding. "Fuck. You. You have no idea-"

Joker cuts her off with a derisive snort. "No idea? Come on Shepard, surely you can do better than that. I've got a pretty good idea."

He doesn't, really. Has no idea what it's like to lose part of his body, to have good health and strength stripped from him. But he does know that anger's just as good an emotion as any to get Shepard fighting.

"I don't need a fucking cheerleader," Shepard says. She forces herself to her feet in spite of her words, and Joker counts it as a victory.

The PT is good, the best if Liara's information is reliable, and doesn't tell Shepard 'good job' or any of that crap, just goes straight to work measuring, poking, making sure the fit is secure. It's rare to have to fit a prosthetic for more than temporary use, but there's not enough bio tissue to attach a cloned limb. 

Joker will never forget the horror on Shepard's face when they told her. 

One more thing she's given to the war. In the list of words they don't say, 'active duty' and 'Normandy' are at the top. She'll never again be cleared for either.

Shepard makes it almost a full minute before her legs begin to tremble, another thirty seconds before she falls back.

"I hate this!" she screams, fists slamming against the wheelchair's armrests. 

This is the worst part, when the woman he loves is erased by pain and suffering, leaving only a scared little girl in her place. Joker ducks his head and lets the wave crash over him.

She beats again at the chair. "I hate it, I hate it, I hate it." A push of biotics slams the bed against the wall, not for the first time, and probably not for the last. Her angry eyes settle on him."I hate you." 

There's no good answer to that.

The anger ebbs as quickly as it came, and Shepard puts her head in her hands and sobs.

Joker pulls her into his arms then and holds her while she shakes. There are no words to be said, no platitudes to offer. He doesn't try, just rubs circles on her back and wills the pain from her body. It's not long, though, before her tears subside, and though her breath still hitches on every inhale, she slides her arms around him and returns the embrace.

"I'm sorry," she whispers. 

He's sorry too, but doesn't say it. Instead he answers her, "It's alright to fail, but it's not to give up." Those are the words his mother said to him every day after the surgery to implant rods in his bones, when standing was difficult and walking impossible. They are all he has to give her.

Shepard moves to sit up straight, once more aware of their audience. But before he lets her go, Joker presses his lips against her ear and growls, "I'm fucking proud of you, Shep."

Shepard pulls a breath, holds it, and turns back towards the PT. "What's next?"

And for today, what Jeff has to give her is enough.


End file.
